If I only work on the things that really interest me, like programming projects and other geeky type projects, I feel just fine and I don't feel beat down at all… Everything else, I just have no passion for. When I was with her I always felt like no matter what it was I could have passion for it because I always felt I could say to myself that "I'm doing this for her". Now? I have no idea why I'm doing any of this crap…

I miss having passion for something other than this stupid computer crap…

Anyhow, one thing that has been bugging me for quite some time… I keep accidentally quitting it after testing a build, after reading the documentation, or just from late night insanity. (Maybe I should be quitting if the last one really is an issue… anyhow)

Thus, I am determined to no longer be driven insane.

I usually hate changing key-mapping cause sometime in the future Apple might change things around that will screw up my changes. However, eventually if something gets in the way of being productive, it's time for the program to change.

What I can't recall however, is that I have previously made changes to the key-mapping, but I can't recall what… hmm.

LCD pixels (to include sub-pixels) can sometimes be 'unstuck' by rapidly turning on and off the pixel. The most common way to do this is with a video file that has quickly changing frames that do just that.

I however am annoyed how so many of them are of low encoding quality, and even one I've seen will have a dark spot in the upper-left part of the frame.

Well, here is my stab at making one. It's 5 minuets in length so if onscreen controls are displayed upon repeat, the come up very often. I have tested it only on a PSP, so who knows how it will work on anything else.

Enjoy... or hate. Either way I don't really care. ;)

The very worst thing about it all is that it reminds me just how much I didn't appreciate every moment I had with her.

The best thing is that it does still remind me of her.

More than anything, I don't want to forget…

When the first and last thing on my mind each day is still her name, it's probably for the best.

The Crap : RocketRAID 2314

On my Mac Pro (1,1) I had nothing but trouble with the RocketRAID 2314 once I upgraded to Mac OS X 10.6 (Snow Leopard). The drivers that came with 10.6 were crap. The drivers that HighPoint Technologies (HPT) later released were better, but still well into the 'works like crap' arena. When my system would woke after sleeping roughly 9 out 10 times the drives wouldn't spin back up and Finder would hang when trying to access the drives.

In addition, I tried to download drives one time from the HPT Mac site and was unable to due to some issue on their end. So I submitted a support request and days went by before I received a response. And when I did, they basically said "you can get the drives from out website". Really? Thanks for nothing. I ended up finding the drivers, the same evening I sent the support request, on one of the mirrors where the windows/linux drives were, but it was really a pain and I wasn't really in the mood to hunt down drivers.

It's probably not a good sign if a company has a separate site for Mac users... Redheaded step child and all that.

So. That's my dislike of HighPoint and the RocketRAID 2314. Maybe it works better on linux/windows, but on the Mac. It was a pain. Oh, and hot-plug support? No. The web interface was a pain in the ass. Wait, WEB INTERFACE? Write a freaking native App for the OS that you expect people to run this crap on. The web interface was just crap, crap, crap.

Drivers are also 32-bit only. And if the crappy drivers are any indication of how much they care about drivers, I didn't hold out much hope for 64-bit anytime soon.

Do you want SMART status from the drives? You can have it only in the crappy web interface.

Want direct access to the drives without the card getting in the way? Maybe. There is some sort of "legacy drive" magical configuration you can sometimes get the drive into, but new drives and such usually have to be added to a "volume" which then becomes available in Mac OS X. Annoying.

Overall rating: 2/10 - It works, but it's painful.

The Awesome : SeriTek/2ME4-E

This section will be much shorter, mostly because when something 'just works', it doesn't take many words to say it's freaking awesome.

It doesn't do booting on Mac Pro's, but considering my Mac can now sleep and wake without issues, I think I can manage.

64-bit drivers shipped with the card.

SMART status passes through.

Hot-swapping supported.

Direct drive access. (No pointless creation of volumes)

It just works. Awesome.

Overall rating: 9/10 - Only things lacking is drivers being included with 10.6 and boot support.

(oh, mom, don't read this one k?)

So i just read someones "love and lost > to not love at all" blog post. 'She' would know what I'm talking about... Anyhow, I really want to beat the crap out of someone in particular... the fucker doesn't have a clue... she loved you, god knows why, you fucking tool.

There is only one thing you're right about. You are indeed fucking clueless.

I've thought about the girl you're so willing to let go of (cause 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' right?) every fucking day since the day she left me for good… you don't just let go of someone that awesome that easily.

Words can't really describe how pissed off I am... someone remind me, why the hell do I do this to myself? Freaking internet... I deactivated my facebook for reasons just like this (and cause I don't care about 90%+ of 'my friends' on there), but I still manage to slip back into old habits.

I know you can't change how she feels, but damn, to give up so quickly? It's been two whole years, 730+ days, since I last held her and I still wish to be close to her for just a moment more. You know how many days have gone by that I haven't thought of her and thinking of anything that I wouldn't have done for her? I bet you'll be onto someone new before even one day goes by for me.

I'm not trying to say I'm amazing or anything like that... maybe I'm just a fucked up fool to have been with her in the first place. But you had her, she loved you and you failed her too... but she's not just someone you like, love, and then say 'too bad it didn't work out, guess I'll find someone else'..

Who knows, maybe I'll find someone that will sweep me off my feet and truly love me in a way that makes what I had with her pale in comparison. Maybe... maybe not, who knows.

I really shouldn't be bitching this much, cause i'm supposed to be 'old and wise' where as these are just barely college age kids I'm talking about here... but damn, even given that I pretty much lived as a recluse growing up I wasn't that fucking clueless even at 16, what the hell...

Don't even get me started on 'nice people finish last'…

p.s. Don't tell my mom about this post…

p.p.s. Mom? Is that you? ... sorry... I usually can find better words, but right now... they just aren't coming to mind. I told you not to read it!

p.p.p.s. So much for doing 'just tech' posts... oh well, guess that's why I have to delete posts every so often around here.

Maybe it's Facebook's problem for making Facebook Connect so 'facebook like', but come on... does no one even read the site URL that they are on? No wonder these morons get username and passwords fished by broken english speaking teenagers. They almost deserve to be ripped off for being so foolish.

If you back your car into a building, we don't blame the building. If you trip and fall in your "totally awesome 6" heels" we don't blame the shoe company for you being a dumb-ass when you decided to plant your face in the street. It would be your own damn fault for not being cautious. Must I really torment you with another analogy to explain the stupidity of blaming the services and not the user?

I can see more and more why some want to have an 'internet user license'…

(I'm in a bit of a annoyed mood… as if you couldn't tell. I'm sure I'll be back to my normal user loving status soon enough. For the record I think an 'internet user license' is also as dumb as all hell. The first time someone was turned down there'd be a shit-storm so fierce… so they'd have to still let everyone on, which just kind of defeat the porpoise... i kid, I know it's purpose, but porpoise is so much more fun to use in a sentence. Oh snap, this part is almost half as long as my whole post was supposed to be.)

But never should have surprised me… I mean come on, how hard is it to not send out an email to everyone with,

"Special Deals from <insert company name here>"

Of course the company name is probably already filled in to start, so they couldn't mess that up…

It'd be funny if this were the first time… but it's at least the second. Now it's just sad.

Too bad so few people care about design and presentation… my site sucks, I admit it freely, but I'm not trying to communicate with anyone (I just like talking to myself).

Take a look at how Panic does newsletters.

Much better…

Update: After thinking about it for a bit, it could be worse.

I'm a digital pack rat, so I never really had a plan when I would collect these... now all they do is remind me.

Once upon a time I thought I was smart... not so much anymore.

However... until then.

Source: Michael Paukner

Source: Meago